I have a lot to say about the dumb thing I am going to do…
But it will have to come around later.
Because I’m busy… Doing something stupid.
08.21.11 ♥ 0
They say that life is like a series of images. It passes us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes, a moment stuns as it happens, and when it does you know that this instant, this moment, it’s more than a fleeting image. It will live on forever. These moments are the kinds of moments stories are made of. They are the moments you photograph, that you scrapbook, that you tell your kids about. Often these moments are tied to something; events, places, feelings, and most specifically people.
This year, I found just a moment or should I say just a person like that. He’s a big event, that I know I will be telling my kids about. Not because I found love, in a romantic sense anyway, or because I’m somebody’s girlfriend or anything like that, but because he’s a reminder of all the good and beautiful things that exist in the world. And it was a timely reminder that I needed in spite of all the crap that has happened recently. A reminder that I would want my children to have and to know.
Subconsciously, and generally on a more conscious level, we all spend time trying to find someone who can keep us company as we travel through the journey that is life. In fact, for some it can be said that being in a relationship is a crucial facet of being happy. It’s a generalisation to some extent, but rather unfortunately it’s true for a fair portion of the population. People think that the ultimate place for the connection you share with someone to go, the final goal, the pinnacle is for it to be a fully fledged relationship. I don’t think that’s always the case, or at least I am slowly starting to think that it’s not.
Relationships are never easy, they are never black and white or fit right into labels. They have so many intricate levels and nuances that differ from one relationship to another. But most importantly, they don’t always have to be about being in love or being somebody’s partner. That’s not to say that I don’t love this boy, I do, and I care about him a lot, and he’s really special to me. I hope know think he feels the same about me but I don’t think we are made to be that special or significant other that I thought and wanted to be so much a few months ago.
It’s for a lot of reasons and is probably really more on his part than mine but that’s not a bad thing. In fact, it could very well be a great thing and make what we have with each other all the more better for it. And that’s why he is a big event. That’s why he is the story I will tell my kids, because among all the big things he brought into my life and all the changes he helped me through and gave to me, he taught me one of the most important lessons I think you can and should learn.
Just because you’re not somebody’s special or significant other doesn’t mean you’re not special or significant to them….
It’s a Sunday night and everybody is getting crazyshitfacedmaggoted drunk and I am working tomorrow, so I’m not….
Most unfortunate indeed :(
But it will have to come around later.
Because I’m busy… Doing something stupid.
Thai Green Curry taken on Monday night before we scoffed it for dinner. First ‘real’ meal in the new house, and I think the perfect way to mark rejoining the world of Tumblr. I’ve missed you!
This is the voicemail message I was greeted with late on Sunday night after not speaking to the (gay) man of my life for a couple of days. I had been out of touch for no reason other than I have had an extremely busy and lengthy couple of days but nevertheless the question hit me a little harder than perhaps was intended.
Having given it some thought, and had a minor emotional breakdown last night, I don’t quite know if I am. I think it is increasingly apparent, particularly if you follow my Tumblr (and given that you are reading this, you do) it is apparent I am emotionally stunted, retarded, messed up or any other appropriate synonym that will fit.
I thought I had a little bit of a handle of this, especially in spite of the big changes in my life that have prompted me to grow and change. That said, I still have nights just like I did before I got my shit together. I am still a paranoid, insecure and emotionally messed up girl. It was silly to think otherwise, right?
So in answer to your question, no, not quite but I’m working on it…
When I’m gone, don’t bury me
I will not lie under this town
I will not lie where I can’t see
Please don’t put me underground
I really want to see her in concert! In fact I am hoping the message I am sending right now will ensure me tickets to her and not be as hilariously awkward as the last time I tried to organise to go.
But we’re gonna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine
Sit talking up all night
Saying things we haven’t for a while, a while yeah
We’re smiling but we’re close to tearsEven after all these years
We just now got the feeling that we’re meeting
For the first time
This was taken on Saturday before I took my bestest lady Emma to the Script at the Hordern Pavillion. It was her first time at a concert and my first time buying concert tickets. She loved it. I loved it because she loved it (and it was awesome). Sadly though my camera was being uncooperative so the rest of the night was documented on our phones. It was nice to share that experience with her.
Lately, all the big things in both our lives have been shared with each other due to lack of family support and/or desire. It’s nice to be able to rely on people close to me when I can’t rely on my family. I probably have said this before, but I imagine this is kind of what sisters feel like. We do tell each other everything and whilst I love my family, they are not always there for me. Emma on the other hand always is.
It’s funny where life and friends take us.
2011 has been a pretty big year for me so far.
First time on a plane, first time travelling by myself, first time living out of home, first time owning a car and so on and so forth.
I have been toying with the idea of getting a tattoo for a while, and lately my tattoo inspirations have been gearing towards documenting the big change that the last two years have represented to me. The problem with that is that there is nothing that I have found that I am super excited about and sadly do not rate my own ability to design a tattoo.
This leaves me with constant hours of trolling through designs and ideas making me long to have a tattoo even more.
So far so good though. It makes me rather happy, and I imagine this feeling will be epitomised once I find the design I want. And, I suppose the process is easier given I know where I want it (on the inside of my right wrist)
2011 turning out to be awesome; let’s hope it is the year I get my first tattoo too.
